Asking your best man to stand by your side

Asking your Maid of Honor seems rather straightforward as there are numerous presents or fun ways to ask your friend for the job. When it comes down to asking your best man, it seems to be a bit more difficult to find original ways to pop the question.


Recently I created a fun way of asking my brother in law for the job. As it was around the Holidays, it was the season to share gifts. So why not surprise him with a New Years present? 


I looked for a basic timber box, plain wood and just a little trim on the front. But of course other sizes are also possible, this is not a given. 


On the front we needed something fun and it should be a little teaser at the same time. So I opted for the sentence "time to TIE one on" and this in combination with a cute bow-tie. 


The quote was printed on transferring paper and then ironed onto the box. By playing with the heat and the movements, i created more depth and structure into the bow-tie. This was a deliberate choice as i did not want sharp clear lines. Some excess glue needed to be sanded of with small pieces of sanding paper, very carefully. Afterwards I waxed the boxed with a dark beeswax. 


And ready was the box. Now you can fill it with all kinds of fun things. You can put confetti in there and let them look for a message in the confetti, or you can just put a note in there. I opted for a combination of practical presents that can all be used on the 'Big Day'.


There was 

  • a powerbank - because you need to have your handy fully charged to take pictures on the big day
  • a flask - because you need "water" perhaps on the big day
  • a bow-tie (in line with the message on the box of course) - because one needs to look very smart and handsome on this day
  • a pen with ink fillings - because your best man needs to sign really important documents on this day


Of course you can accompany this with a nice letter that explains everything and at the end you of course mention if he wants to be your best man on your big day.   



Guidelines for Save the Date invitation

I prefer to speak of guidelines rather than rules to follow. In the end what matters is that you as a couple feel comfortable and does not give you additional stress.


When to send? 

Of course it still needs to make sense to be sending out your save the dates so people can plan accordingly. As a rule of thumb you can say that Save the dates should be send 6 months prior to the wedding day. If people need to travel for your wedding or it happens over several days, you are better of sending them 8 to 12 months in advance so your guests can plan accordingly. Just make sure that it still makes sense to send out your save the dates. If it there is only a couple of weeks difference with sending your invite, there is no use to it anymore. 

Who to send them to? 

Send your save the dates to people you really want to attend the wedding. In general you only need to send your Save the Date invitations to people attending the dinner and party. Reception guests are invited upon receiving the wedding invitation. Of course you can already mention your plans to them. 


What should be mentioned

Off course start by mentioning your names, but this seems to be a given. Definitely mention that it is a Save the Date and that a formal invitation will follow. Off course mention the date on which you will be tying the knot. And the location, this is especially important for people travelling in from further destinations. If not all is sure yet, but it probably is as you will not be sending out Save the Dates when you still have a lot of open question marks, just mention key elements such as names, date, and place if you have a wedding on location. 


Additionally you can add a sentence such as "They would love to have you attend their special event" or "They would love to share their special day with you", it makes people feel welcome and be a part of the occasion.  



Theme of the Save the Date Invitation

Save the dates tend to be rather informal, just making sure that your guests definitely are there for your joyful day. Therefor not everything needs to be completely in line with your final invitation. But, in my opinion, you need to have a theme already in mind. For example don´t make burlap Save the Dates if your Wedding Invites will be very chic and in lace. Burlap is more used in shabby chic or country wedding themes. Not that it is so important, but always keep in mind that some of your guests, just like you, will be saving everything from your wedding and will put everything together in a memory box. Therefore it is nice if all things match. 



To keep in mind when you send the invitations 

I preferred to hand the save the dates personally as I loved to see peoples reaction to it. However this is not always possible. Therefore if you send it by mail, make sure that you mentioned a return address on the back of the envelopes as well as double check the required stamp value at the post office. Some cards are not in standard format, hence mailing will be more different from the standard. 



Save the date

Depending on the theme of your wedding you can choose your save the dates accordingly. You can go for a nice card mentioning your wedding and by doing a quick search on google or pinterest you can find great ideas. 


But why not make it something special, why not create something that resembles who you are as a couple or what your wedding theme is. 


I like it to make a save the date that immediately engages people in the wedding and making them enthusiastic for the event. A save the date that reminds your guest in a fun way when the wedding takes place. 


Over the years save the date has gained importance outside of the US. With more weddings requiring travel, with more elaborate groups of friends, with more and more friends spreading their wings and living the other side of the world, with more and more busy schedules... the need for save the dates has increased. Therefore it is great to have Save the Dates that are fun reminders and don´t immediately end up in the drawers. 


Asking your Maid of Honor

Being the Maid of Honor is of course an honor, nevertheless it involves also a lot of hard work and dedication from your friend. So it is important to ask in a wonderful way, a way that the both of you always remember. It can be with a little present to celebrate the occasion or with a fun remembrance. 


For my Maid of Honor, I have chosen for this fun message board as it says a lot about the two of us and who we are as friends. We love our glass of champagne and we love to have a good party. So is there a better way to bring your message? 


What I particularity like is that each time I visit my friend, this is standing in her living room. That way it is also a small part of her life, and a memory is made....


Question has been asked. The planning is starting.... NOW

Do not exaggerate with this. First take a step back and relax these first moments. Do not go into planning mode immediately. Of course when you get married in just a couple of weeks, then you should immediately take the bull by it´s horns, but otherwise give yourself some time. Do not loose yourself, enjoy being engaged. 

And then start your planning looking for locations, venues, photographers,....


The only thing -in my opinion- that you should decide upon rather quickly is your wedding day. Choose a day that makes you happy, that reminds you of a beautiful moment together or a season that gives you energy and makes you happy. in some cultures there is a rule that you should get married within a year of being engaged. Do not feel pressured by this. 


Don´t forget, this is all about you as a couple. This is YOUR big day.